We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life. All that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.
I have been crazy nervous about this self-portrait. Part of it is just the fact that it feels so exposing to do a self-portrait Certainly I’ve never thought to myself that I’d be doing a one. I can’t decide if I’m glad Jane asked me to do one or not. The jury’s still out – I see-saw from liking it to being really uncomfortable with it.
But I’m loving working on it as if it’s my actual job. How jealous I am of those who can do this full-time. I remember watching the documentary about Andy Goldsworthy, where he would kiss his wife goodbye in their kitchen and head out with his bag to go lie down in the driveway, let it rain all around his silhouette, then photograph the dry spot where his body had been. I thought then, “I want his job!” Well, maybe not the lying down in the drive part. But I am calmer and generally so much happier after after a day of drawing than a day of work or even just a day of “leisure”.
My first reaction to being invited was, of course, that it is a great honor, especially when I look at my fellow exhibitors, and also a great responsibility. And then very quickly, not panic, that’s too strong a word, but the weight of having to come up with a way to present myself that felt true to who I feel that I am, not gimmicky (I hate what I think of as “gimmick art”), and allowed me to use pastel in the way that I love, with intense color, and so that, up close, the pastel application is beautiful on its own, as if each inch of the picture is a tiny abstract painting. All-in-all, a formidable task.
It’s time once again to start thinking about running in the dead of the Massachusetts winter! (On December 3rd this year.) This is my second annual Hot Chocolate Run. (Amazingly it went on for the first twelve years without me!) Part of my motivation for signing up is to keep myself running through the winter, but a huge factor is to support Safe Passage, a local organization that provides counseling, shelter, legal help, and more to victims of violence. In this time of feeling so helpless to do anything at all about rising hate and violence, I can at least do this.
So, yes, I am asking for donations. Please go to my Hot Chocolate Run fundraising page to make a donation.